Comfort Food and Self-Hypnosis

So here's the thing,

This summer I've had a pizza disorder. More and more frequently I seem to order pizza and watch a movie as my nighttime activity. My father once commented (listening in horror as I outlined a trip to the comic book store and Burger King as being the day's activities) that eating is not an activity. I was a fat child. I believe that going out to dinner with friends is an activity (The conversation is key in that scenario), but I tend to agree that eating alone should not be considered an activity. And yet, the delicious, doughy circlet of sauce and cheese does indeed possess supernatural powers to calm and comfort me. The pizza dinner has become a ritual. I think that it is replacing work, friends, and activities - not because it is better but simply because this summer (like many others in my past) has been stagnant and without much to do.

Problem acknowledged. Solution: the most asinine possible course of action. HYPNOSIS. I've been reading a stupid waste of money book on Hypnosis for the past week, and today I skimmed the chapter on autohypnotism - the practice of inducing yourself into a trance and then planting suggestions to your unconscious mind. To do this, one needs to record him/herself doing a monologue about envisioning one's muscles relaxing (this script was fortunately provided by my stupid book). Then, once the muscles are loose and the eyes are closed, you plant the suggestion, and wake your fucking self up. Easy.

Much to my supreez, I tried it and I think that I actually did hypnotize myself. I got super relaxed and felt swimmy. Sort of like when you are on the border of sleep, the darkness behind your eyelids seems to change and the spatial properties of the room around you can feel spinny or liquid. Anyway, the mind remains conscious the whole time that one is in a trance, so my cognitive self thinks that I wasn't hypnotized, but my irrational mind may have been.

The suggestion that I gave myself was to decline pizza in favor of a glass of water. I think I'm going to try it tonight at my Batman: Mask of the Phantasm party. Yes. I said it. It's going to be hella infantile. I only have one guest, and he regards me, no doubt, with cautious distain. Oh, I love the summertime.

If this hypnosis stuff works, I may have found my post-gradschool job! w00t!

You are getting sl.......zzzzzz.......

Svengali