I want my favorite dish! Ah - Fish! Thanks. Guhcockle!

My beloved DESTRUCTICON has graduated from college. She is now a grownup in the world of the adults!! I, however, remain carefully hidden in the fallopian folds of the womb of academia. I suck off of the auburn colored teet of the system. Mmmmwoooaah!

Watching my darling and her/my friends graduate today put me in a strange state of mind. What am I doing with my life anyway? The man behind the podium (after biting the head off a chicken) seemed to say that we should pursue our dreams and hopefully they will yield us money and nuclear disarmament of our nenimies. All I could think of was that I truly want to be an improv comedian. I want to be the next Ryan Styles. But stumpier. More junk in the dashboard. Hubba hubba.

I'm going to miss my girl terribly. This is going to suck. SUUUUUUUUCK. We've done the long distance thing before, but this is different b/c I'm in a HARD program now that demands my blood at frequent intervals and she'll be working in a REAL job where they bust your face if you skip. Oh the agony! Oh the pathos of true love! These are not bad problems, they're good ones to have. A bad problem would be like when the government calls you up on the phone to test out their new super-sound that kills whoever hears it. It sounds like this: REEEEEEEEEE--!*

*Actual supersound misspelled to avoid occular hemmoraging.

Fuck a spoon you pervdog!