Gassy Airbag returns from Windy City

Enthusiasts of the written word,

Greetings once again after a long hiatus. Hyenas.

I'm back from my first fact-finding trip to Chicago, Illinois. The verdict: It's pretty boss. Now don't misunderstand, I hate cities. They are a burthen upon the earth erected by the industrial behemoths and their loathsome ilk. Soon our entire world will be a vast on-ramp obscuring a "scenic overlook" that used to be called tranquility. But I digress. Chicago's sidewalks are big, which is a plus to my gluttonous Midwestern sensibilities. As a member of the distrustful brotherhood of paranoiacs and wallet-clutchers, it also appeals to my fear of the world that surrounds and confounds me.

Destructicon and I trekked around the finer sides of the city and took the "el" roundabout the various districts. The Goodman's Pericles was beautiful and well acted, Second City's "Iraqtile Dysfunction" was funny, but prompted reflection about my preconceotions about trade, and the Field Museum (which contains "the man-eaters of Tsavo," eg. The Ghost and the Darkness) did not compete with the Carnegie's dinosaur exhibit. Go Stillers.

Oh yeah. Meade, the Colonialist, was a fine host to my parasitic presence. Kudos to her for her hospitality and pointers on Wrigleyvillains.

So.. The question on all my minds is will I indeed move to Chicagy? In short. I dthon't hnoe. It does seem to be the most appealling city of all the cities that I've come across thusfar, however, it is confusing to see my idealized Second City packed with drunken dummies and movie monsters. Is there nowhere where Comedy is King? Perhaps I'll take the solo performance root, as my inspired British comerade Dr. Cutts did. Maybe I'll get a job as Bolish's assistant.

Oh. Check out www.johnnylongform.com to hear a song that I assembled last year called "Das Assen Fuck Nacht" - which actually translates to "From ate fuck night." Whoops.

Pictorial evidence of my trip to come.

Boogizzard!

AJ