Change your pants

Change the world everybody says. Ok, alright alright. Get of my back zeitgeist. Well change the world, okay how?
For the better, yinz jag off.
Better for who?
For the world.
The Human race, animals, or the environment?
Whichevs.
Which humans, which animals, what part of the environment?
Feh.
Through the formation and disemination of ideas or through actions?
Actions.
Why actions?
Actions are faster than ideas.
But don't ideas precede actions?
Buh.
What about me?
If you change the world, everybody will like you lots.
What if I change it for the worse?
Ruh?
I mean what seems great right now (like hybridizing the human genome with plant DNA to solve world hunger by ushering in a new era of human photosynthesis) might turn out to be bad in the long run (when everyone's DNA starts sloughing out of its nuclear casing like scrambled eggs on an oily plate).
Peh.
Spindle twice.
What?
Nuh... Why can't I just be? Why can't I just live a non-remarkable life as a part of the pervading system?
Then you'll never realise your full potential. You will be, in a sense, a failure.
That's not fair. I didn't sign up to be born and achieve great things. I was put forth into this world without my consent.
If you don't like it then go die.
No.
Why?
It's scary.
Then achieve something.
No.
Why?
Lazy.
Change that. There'll be plenty of time to lie in one place when you're dead. Now you must go out and achieve.
I don't like you very much.

-finis-